The worst thing anyone can do to themselves is to deny a life driven by their core self. The worst thing an artist can do is live in a reality driven by others.
I have been waking up all over again. Somewhere between successes, ambition, connection, and work ethic I shifted my perspectives into conventional ones that didn’t belong to me in any way. This is no post about regret, bitterness, or despair; just a recollection. (Both kinds of recollection, actually.) I think it’s easy to mistake these conventions as ‘modern’ or ‘contemporary’. Social media, television, and peer pressure have incredible hold and smothering for those who are born into art. At least I’ve found myself lost in it several weeks at a time. (Let’s clarify this is no speculation on man in modern day. I appreciate digital technology very much and am an avid user myself.) Filtering became more complicated than I have ever experienced before. And the compulsion to make others happy first, had blurred my personal boundaries. I actively identify that the reason why this all happened is pretty irrelevant. I’m so glad I’m awake again.
They say that artists have a deep capacity for sadness and beauty, which results in their keen eyes that represent realities. They also say that that doesn’t make sense to anyone on a deep, authentic level unless they are artists. I realized I would be hungry for the rest of my life when I was 7.
A large external factor of my present-day restlessness stems from my strong resistance and principles about art and design that are constantly proven valid by a certain community’s behavior, attitudes, work, and dialogue. This is has been a simple thing to change, though. I have no need or responsibility in associating with it; spring is a great time to clean. I see lost hearts myself; the lack of authenticity that results from it is disgusting and uncomfortable. This distaste has been unexpectedly very useful.
I have been waking up all over again. The same way I have become more of a writer like I am a drawer; my professional playground has involved more writing too, along with interactions with people and communities that use verbal expressions. It’s been nice though, I’ve always loved poetry dearly. I’ve always treasured words dearly.
Cheiloproclitic - Being attracted to someones lips.
Quidnunc - One who always has to know what is going on.
Ultracrepidarian - Of one who speaks or offers opinions on matters beyond their knowledge.
Apodyopis - The act of mentally undressing someone.
Gymnophoria - The sensation that someone is mentally undressing you.
Tarantism - The urge to overcome melancholy by dancing.
Autolatry - The worship of one’s self.
Cagamosis - An unhappy marriage.
Gargalesthesia - The sensation caused by tickling.
Capernoited - Slightly intoxicated or tipsy.
Lalochezia - The use of abusive language to relieve stress or ease pain.
Cataglottism - Kissing with tongue.
Basorexia - An overwhelming desire to kiss.
Brontide - The low rumbling of distant thunder.
Grapholagnia - The urge to stare at obscene pictures.
Agelast - A person who never laughs.
Wanweird - An unhappy fate.
Dystopia - Am imaginary place of total misery. A metaphor for hell.
Petrichor - The smell of dry rain on the ground.
Anagapesis - The feeling when one no longer loves someone they once did.
Malapert - Clever in manners of speech.
Duende - Unusual power to attract or charm.
Concilliabule - A secret meeting of people who are hatching a plot.
Strikhedonia - The pleasure of being able to say “to hell with it”.
Lygerastia - The condition of one who is only amorous when the lights are out.
Ayurnamat - The philosophy that there is no point in worrying about events that cannot be changed.
Sphallolalia - Flirtatious talk that leads no where.
Baisemain - A kiss on the hand.
Druxy - Something which looks good on the outside, but is actually rotten inside.
Mamihlapinatapei - The look between two people in which each loves the other but is too afraid to make the first move.